Today I blew off my one class, which I admittedly do too often. But today I actually used it, I went outside. I know that sounds a bit silly as if I’m a hermit who never leaves her suite, but I rarely go outside to be outside. I’m usually off to work or class or some other indoor place and outside is just what I move through to get there. The sun is out and the sky is bright with the rare cloud, and for the west coast clouds are always overhead.
There’s a park just behind the house. It’s a very modest park, there are some trees, a winding concrete path, a few hills, a baseball diamond, and a section reserved as a dog park. It’s small but today it was perfect. I sat atop the smallest of hills with the sun on my face a the pale blue sky blanketing my horizon. I listened to spring come alive around me. Birds that had been silent all winter warmed their voices and began to sing. I watched them dance along the tree branches and float on the breeze. The plants were just waking up, taking their first breaths of sunlight, inhaling deeply.
I laid down in the grass next to a yawning tree that hadn’t quite awoken from it’s winter’s slumber. I laid there, on the top of the world which was on the smallest of hills. The sun warmed my body gently with her smile. The ground was soft with grass and moss, but still full of life. Ants hustled around me frantically working. They didn’t mind me much, just made their way around me. The wind was breathing in and out, picking up then letting up, brushing the hair from my face with a caring stroke. I wanted to stay in that moment. It was perfectly slow and calm and I felt like the whole universe could pass me by because just then all this was the whole universe.
I knew, in the back of my mind, as the whole universe just lay calm in front of me, that I would eventually have to stand, put one foot in front of the other and walk myself home. I would have to once again take up my adult life and continue on with it. But not right then, not yet. I needed to stay, to breath in the air and the calm. I needed to remember that life is not responsibility and procrastination. Life is the slow moments, the deep moments, the great moments. Try not to forget so often.